Well, since you're asking ....

I did not enjoy hosting this event at all. Andrew and I were given very conflicting messages by the various producers (there seemed to be about 7 people we were expected to answer to, and we were never able to figure out who had the final word), mixed messages regarding everything from what we wore on stage to how we conducted ourselves.

However, one message was consistently clear, and was repeated over and over: Be bitchy, be feisty, tease the presenters and the award winners. In fact, for most of the show Andrew and I restrained ourselves because we could tell the audience was not following along (they barely listened to the show at all) - and yet every time we became quiet or less feisty, some producer would come up to us from backstage and prompt us to be "more bitchy". At one point I asked a producer directly if we should stop teasing the other guests because the audience was getting cranky, and I was told, and I quote "No, do more. Interrupt people, make it more outrageous - otherwise the show will get dull."

I found the whole event baffling and unpleasant. Anybody with ears could tell the audience wanted something more akin to a church service than a fun show, and after the first ten minutes of being either talked over or loudly booed by the audience, I figured I had nothing left to do or say on stage. But the producers insisted we carry on being the "bitches" we are supposedly so well known for being. So, as they say in the army, we were only following orders.

Furthermore, and most important, I feel there is no small amount of homophobia at work in all this negative feedback. Andrew was in drag, and I made lots of flirty jokes at the male presenters. The jokes Andrew and I told were no more ribald than jokes you can hear any night on Church Street (if anything, we were shockingly unoriginal in our choice of material), and were similar to jokes I've told at everything from charity auctions to the OAAG awards. Perhaps you need to examine the politics of some of your sponsors?

Finally - what is the point of giving me this information? You may well state that the letter below "is not a judgement" on my performance, but of course that's exactly what it is. Am I supposed to feel guilty that the Untitled Arts Awards are being sponsored by conservative corporations and personages that don't like foul-mouthed fags? You'll excuse me if I don't feel even a twinge of remorse.

If the UAA wants to get deeper into bed with corporations or sponsors, then it should present a show more in line with the needs of said sponsors. Andrew and I are hard working (again, within reason), devoted (ditto) members of the arts community - not board members of an aluminum company or a beer maker. Perhaps the UAA should consider the core question at work here: Are the awards a community event, or an advertising vehicle for the sponsors?

I have taken the liberty of forwarding your alarming, censorious letter to various members of the queer/art community, so that they will know how the UAA processes homophobic and/or otherwise timid responses from its funders, and to illustrate how the UAA, at least in this context, is sponsoring an indirect form of censorship.

While I am always flattered to be asked to do anything, and was certainly more than flattered to win a tasty cash award, you can be sure that the recent gala ends my involvement with the UAA.

RM Vaughan

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I have only heard good feedback especially from Ydessa Hendeles who loved our comments and said "how refreshing" it was. I have also heard a great deal of gossip about the event which is not true, from people who were not in attendence at the event - which means that there is a buzz about the awards - congratulations, the first time ever for the awards!

I think that blaming the hosts - who were acting upon the wishes of all of the organzing parties - is a little chicken-hearted on your behalf - the committee and "producer" also have no blame in this whatsoever. Don't hire people who are opinionated to host a show and encourage them to express or act-out those opinions on stage.

I am sorry that you have lost sponsors, it is also kind of passive-agressive to tell us this and not even tell us who the sponsors are that have pulled out. You have not even asked us if there was something that we might be able to do to assist in this situation. It is also not particularily effective to give a critique about comments made and not say which ones or to whom they were made - boo hoo. If you are offering any kind of critique then let us know the W5 - please let us know what we actually did wrong.

RM and I also come from performance art backgrounds. To the folks who are "pulling out" that might seem radical (performance) to some people but, lighten up already.

I also would like to echo that there does seem to be an undercurrent of homophobia between the lines of these veiled comments as we don't know why or who or any of the details so I assume that this must be the reason that the "sponsor" pulled out. so I am left with what can't be said and that's the h-word or the f-word (fag) or the g-word. So if your "homophobic" sponsors are leaving then the UAA is in a better situation - not a weak one.

I am in no way apologizing for my actions or comments. There are members of this committee who have seen me host other events in Toronto and know that my style is bitchy, rude and on occasion combat-like, and yes, some even say punk rock. Toronto is grown-up, let's have grown-up radical award shows for artists and curators.

[apologies, miz H and readers, but the two sentences that we have edited out are quotes from the UAA article, and we'd like to be true to our word of not posting what we don't have explicit permission to post...you have our solemn assurance that we have not edited anything else] ha ha! Well, let us know what the actual feedback is?

The gossip from this event has already threatened activities that I am working on presently. One sponsor for TAAFI had heard wrong information about this event but, I am not worried. One of the unspoken rules about the Toronto art world is not to talk about an honest opinion through humour or otherwise. On this last note, the UAA has succeeded in the most Toronto way.

Sincerely,
Andrew Harwood